Redefining Grief with Herdyne Mercier, LCSW

Brandi Harvey: Beyond Her

April 20, 2021

Brandi Harvey: Beyond Her

Episode Introduction

Many of us hover over unworthy relationships and habits only because saying a healthy goodbye is hard. We end up going back to places that don't serve us, being around people who don't love us, and spending money on things that deplete us. Today, we learn that there's a lot more to us than we can visualize.

In this episode, Herdyne speaks with Brandi Harvey, Founder of Beyond Her, a network for women at the start of their careers who want to feel less like imposters and more like instigators. Brandi and Herdyne speak their hearts out on topics of life, fitness, and goals. Herdyne also talks about how she was searching for wisdom three years ago and how her life changed when she ultimately found it and enabled her to air her first podcast episode; gave her purpose.

Brandi narrates her life journey to us. She recalls that her first podcast made her life upside down; she got fired, had to commit to going to therapy every year, and expanded her podcast theme to mental and physical health from physical health alone. Her journey with silent meditation taught her to be still. We learn that people find it hard to heal because they confront situations not knowing how to be still. Brandi also discloses her freedom class which mainly focuses on healing your life from the inside out and not on money and fame.

Attaining stillness isn't an easy journey. Brandi shares that she had to confront the silence band after being still, feeling irritated and angry. But she continued to practice the same because she wanted to elevate herself.

Herdyne talks about healthy goodbyes. Brandi remembers how she had to talk about the first chapter – Lose to Win, of her book in a conference and describes how we have a scarcity and poverty mentality that causes us to refrain from healthy goodbyes to things that we might not receive any more than that. Herdyne talks about her struggle with the concept of Lose to Win when she had to manage the household when her husband had to go for a Ph.D. It led her to commit to a strict diet to get fit. Here, Brandi also talks about how commitment is not a feeling but an agreement you make to become better.

Brandi's advice to anyone grieving is to ditch their story and old beliefs. She believes there's power in having somebody else hold you accountable – a physical fitness trainer takes you out of the comfort zone that restrains you from getting fit.

We are destined from the time of Adam, a gardener, to cultivate spirits just like a gardener grows plants. Towards the close of the episode, Brandi reminds us that our word is our wand and that we need to master our emotions to become mentally and physically healthy. Listen in, for there's a lot of wisdom in their words!


About Our Guest

Brandi Harvey is the founder of Beyond Her, an active wellness brand for women of color. She believes women should eat well, give a damn and move their bodies daily. Committed to teaching women how to care for their mind, body and spirit, Brandi is recognized as both a national and international speaker. 


Episode Quotes

  • “Life is not perfect, but the requirement of living it is.” - Herdyne [00:43]
  • “People can't heal because they are afraid to be still and deal with the emotion.” - Herdyne [15:49]
  • “Commitment is not a feeling. It's an agreement. “- Brandi [35:07]
  • “Every time the muscle breaks down, when you're working out it is building it back up so that you can see more growth and development in your body. It's the same thing about your own life.” - Brandi [36:46]
  • “When you have a desire for more, you're willing to get pushed out of your comfort zone.” - Brandi [47:13]
  • “Be consistent and don't allow the weeds in your life to suffocate you like they do in the garden.” - Herdyne [52:15]


Redefining Grief Pearls of Wisdom, P.O.W., Questions

  • What have you learned about yourself since redefining the grief in your life? [57:33]

I've learned that I'm worthy and that I'm deserving of this big life. I spent so much time trying to downplay myself and fit into a box that other people thought, the expectations that they have for me, and I think I'm redefining the grief of my own life of losing the wind of shedding the old beliefs of leaving some things, some people behind, and know that I am deserving of this big life that God has promised me.


  • If today was your last day on earth, what would be your five words or less? [58:21]

I lived it all the way.


  • What's that song that gets you through? [59:33]

 Sounds of blackness - I believe.


Episode Time-Stamps

  • [05:56] –Herdyne introduces Brandi
  • [08:21] –Herdyne talks about her first podcast
  • [13:05] –Brandi’s shift in life
  • [18:26] –Brandi shares her truth
  • [22:57] –Healthy goodbyes
  • [25:36] – Lose to win
  • [34:10] –Commitment is an agreement to become better
  • [39:36] –Ditching old beliefs
  • [42:35] –Talks about comfort food and lifestyle
  • [50:16] – Adam a gardener
  • [52:58] –Brandi’s freedom class

Reference Links

  • YouTube link to Brandi’s favorite song:

Sounds of blackness - I believe

  • Book:


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