Redefining Grief with Herdyne Mercier, LCSW

Kara Vaval: Why I Had to Leave A Good Man?

May 14, 2020

Kara Vaval

Episode Introduction

Allow your heart to break. Go through it. Because getting on the other side is so beautiful. And in the process, know that you are absolutely worth fighting for!

Join me on this episode of Redefining Grief as I interview Kara Vaval, President and founder of Vaval Law, formerly the Vaval Injury Law Group. Kara practices mainly in the areas of Personal Injury Land Family Law. Kara is a dedicated attorney and counselor of law. Understanding that the attorney-client relationship is based on trust, respect, and confidentiality, Kara is committed to providing her clients with quality legal representation and counseling combined with unparalleled client service. In addition to practicing law, she is a published author, motivational speaker, and empowerment coach with a passion to inspire and empower everyone she comes in contact with. 

Kara shares her life story with us today. It was on November 9 1996, that her father was brutally murdered. The shock that came to the family cannot be described in words completely. Her mother was 40, traumatised and immovable. Her dad, she recalls, was an incredible human being. That is one of the reasons why she is roaring today- because she has always been chasing this ideal of being even half the human he was. His death left her mother completely disoriented. Her kids were only 17, 14, and 5 years old and they needed her. 

She had considered herself a victim for most of her life. She couldn’t get close with people, She had to value herself. After her divoce with her ex-husband, Kara shares how she feels lighter. She says she left a good man. And she did it because she had to value herself over anybody else. This is a major learning- when you decide to put yourself over anything and anyone else, life happens. She believes sticking onto the marriage “for” the children does not do them any good. It’s because when you are not happy, you cannot expect your children to be happy with you either.

Kara constantly reminds us that you can always make choices and change your mind for the better. Tune in today and learn Kara’s journey through grief!

 

About Our Guest 

Kara Vaval is the President and founder of Vaval Law, formerly the Vaval Injury Law Group. Kara practices mainly in the areas of Personal Injury Land Family Law.

Kara is a dedicated attorney and counselor of law. Understanding that the attorney-client relationship is based on trust, respect, and confidentiality, Kara is committed to providing her clients with quality legal representation and counseling combined with unparalleled client service. In addition to practicing law, Kara is a published author, motivational speaker, and empowerment coach with a passion to inspire and empower everyone she comes in contact with. 

 

Episode Quotes

  • “Before you can get a harvest, you have to plant the seed. And sometimes when planting the seed, you have weeds.” - Kara [11:46]
  • “It's very important that you are your own cup of tea. Okay, because when you're your cup of tea, you own you.” - Kara [26:43]
  • “It's not working because who I would need to be to be in this is not who I am. And I've played that part long enough and I'm dying the real me is dying.“- Kara [32:58]
  • “I'm creating my life. And I am the author of my life. And I can have anything I want. I don't have to be the victim. I don't have to settle.” - Kara [34:35]
  • “People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. And the pain comes when you're trying to make a seasonal person, a lifetime person” - Kara [37:02]
  • “I understand what you're saying, because marriage is a partnership of growth, not stagnant.”- Herdyne [37:51]

 

Redefining Grief Pearls of Wisdom, P.O.W., Questions

  • If today was your last day on earth, and you were granted five words or less? What would it be? [49:12]

Liberating, Freeing, Loving, Honoring Yes, and Compassion for myself and for other people. 

  • During your hard times, what's that one song that just gets you through? [50:17]

I didn’t know my own strength by Whitney Houston

 

Episode Time-Stamps

  • [10:23] – What is your truth?
  • [28:49] – What tears represented for her
  • [33:37] – What caused the resurrection of Kara?
  • [40:08] – Talking about Kara’s book
  • [45:57] – That one step that the listeners can take to have their resurrection.

 

Reference Links

  • YouTube link to Kara’s favorite song: 

I didn’t know my own strength by Whitney Houston

  • Book:

The Conscious Parent by Shefali Tsabary

 

Connect with Kara

This episode is brought to you by our supportive, informative, and complimentary Grief Crusader Community. Join here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/GriefCrusader

 

Recommended Resources

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