Redefining Grief with Herdyne Mercier, LCSW

Trina Casey: Grief and Emotional Intelligence

May 21, 2020

Trina Casey

Episode Introduction

Do you feel you have been abandoned in life? If yes, why were you brought to that unimagined extreme? Healing required Trina Casey to say good-bye to the dream of what was supposed to be the relationship with a mother who might be ready to love, support, and care for her in an emotional matter.

In today’s episode, I am joined by my dear friend Trina, who is a thought leader. She is the creator of This Real-life Books, is a certified family trauma professional, CBT coach, children’s book author and EQ based Educator. Trina has taught all over the world. She currently resides and teaches in Amsterdam, and has lived and taught in Italy, Indonesia, and all over the US.

Trina had a passion for writing at a young age and uses her inner child to tap into her imagination to write children’s books that focus on teaching Emotional Intelligence. She created This Real Life Books with the encouragement of her son,  who loved the bedtime stories she told him every night to help him deal with the self-doubt caused by bullying in school. All of the stories would give him practical tools to deal with the problems he faced at school while retaining a positive view of himself. He soon was able to speak his truth not only to his peers but also to the teachers who were not giving him the support he needed. It was then; she decided Teaching EQ would be her purpose!

Trina’s mom had a harsh past. She went through a lot of trauma herself and that translated into her parenting style. She had seen poverty, was an introverted person and on top of that, had an abusive father. Her mom left because of the abuse. And she could never really got over that. Also, she had Trina when very young.

All this caused Trina to think she wasn’t lovable. She started to resent her physical experience even, because she was reminded of her mother- they looked alike. It was when she was 12 or 13 that she stayed with one of her friends’ in her house that she realized how a mother’s love showed in her nurturing and caring. She recollects, “It wasn't about having clothes, it was about getting hugs and contact and being told that I was great.”

Trina was always in contact with her mother and that also helped him in the healing. Because she gave validation to their emotional state and gave them space. She also talks about Buddhism and how that helped her in the journey forward. It helped her find the center of her mind for herself and relax.

Tune in today to hear her story in her own words. Also, learn how you could view your sufferings of the past and bring up your kids in the best manner possible!

 

About Our Guest 

Trina  is the creator of This Real-life Books, is a certified family trauma professional, CBT coach, children’s book author and EQ based Educator. She has taught all over the world. She currently resides and teaches in Amsterdam, and has lived and taught in Italy, Indonesia, and all over the US.

 

Episode Quotes

  • “I was obedient, I was quiet. But I had all of this stuff inside of me that I wanted to express.” - Trina [10:11]
  • “We have a tendency to think that our emotions are exclusive to us, as adults, and that children are not allowed to have an emotional expression.” - Trina [12:25]
  • “Because once you are aware and can tell the truth, then change happens.“- Herdyne [22:39]
  • “I didn't want to be in this dimension this life anymore. I wanted to go beyond it. Because I knew there was something beyond it.” - Trina [32:57]
  • “That woman who birthed me who loves me in the way that she can, can never give me the emotional support that I need or the emotional space that I need.” - Trina [34:44]
  • “I understand what you're saying because marriage is a partnership of growth, not stagnant.”- Herdyne [37:51]

 

Redefining Grief Pearls of Wisdom, P.O.W., Questions

  • What have you learned about yourself since redefining your grief journey? 49:21]

            I've learned that I have overcome a lot of grief like I have lived it, been in it. 

  • If today was your last day on earth, and you were granted five words or less? What would it be? [50:18]

Forgive me, I forgive you. I love you. And I'm sorry.

  • During your hard times, what's that one song that just gets you through? [51:31]

Adore

 

Episode Time-Stamps

  • [05:31] – What is your truth?
  • [14:17] – Why are children not allowed to have an emotional expression? 
  • [16:54] – When you have self awareness, you are able to see how you are feeling in your body, how were you are feeling about you
  • [26:21] –  What are some examples of not having emotional space?
  • [30:09] –  What does faith look like for Trina? 
  • [37:38] -  How is Trina anchored in faith? 
  • [40:06] -  How has your Buddhist faith healed her and helped her get to a place of restoration with.

 

Reference Links

  • YouTube link to Trina’s favorite song: 

Adore

Connect with Trina

This episode is brought to you by our supportive, informative, and complimentary Grief Crusader Community. Join here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/GriefCrusader

 

Recommended Resources

 

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