Redefining Grief with Herdyne Mercier, LCSW
 

Redefining Grief with Herdyne Mercier, LCSW

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The mission of this podcast is to explore all areas of grief by educating through stories and experiences. This podcast is for grievers and those wanting to learn how to support grievers.

Episodes

Latoya Mathews: Beauty into Ashes

Tuesday Apr 28, 2020

Tuesday Apr 28, 2020

Latoya Mathews

Episode Introduction

Going through an abortion can be a traumatic experience. It distorts one’s emotional balance and scars one’s mental health. In this episode of Redefining Grief, transformation coach Latoya Mathews opens up about her own personal experience going through an abortion. She shares the challenges she had to face to completely reconcile from her past. From originally being broken, burdened with guilt and shame to ultimately being on a path to restoration, Latoya reveals her inspiring journey of self-healing and rebuilding. 

Herdyne gives an introduction to her episode and announces her new masterclass on how to unlock your purpose in life by healing from grief. 

Latoya Mathews is an inner healing coach, author, and transformation speaker who specializes in helping women who had abortions. In this episode, she joins Herdyne and reveals her life's truth, sharing that no matter what challenges we pass through, god carries the strength to reconstruct our ashes into beauty. Healing is available to those who are eager to receive it.

Latoya recalls the time she found out she was pregnant. Being a senior in high school, who had two college fellowships, she recognized she would be giving up too much if she hadn’t decided on getting an abortion. She wasn’t in an atmosphere to support a child. She recalls going to the abortion clinic which was crowded with protesters, making it extremely humiliating for her. “And I remember being in that waiting room, feeling so small, waiting for them to call me back for the procedure and being on to fill this paperwork and just being there with no one there".

Latoya talks about the shame and guilt that showed with her judgment. She recalls asking God for forgiveness. “I don’t know if you have ever sat in a room that feels so big, but all of a sudden it felt so small."

She was enlightened with her ultimate quest to rebuilding. She speaks about the pastor that escorted her to self-healing.  “And I prayed every night for God to forgive me. Immediately, my pastor told me, God forgave you. God forgave you the very first time that you said that I prayed.”

Latoya talks about the seriousness of establishing a safe space for women who had gone through a similar traumatic past. She describes the consequence of the presence of a proper community in supporting self-healing and improvement. She places emphasis on the importance of openly communicating the concept of abortion. 

Latoya reveals her path to strengthening back her relationship with God.  “I had to start all over. I had to pray and ask God to give me eyes to see what he saw."

Tune in today to learn more about restoration. For Latoya, "Restoration was releasing those very things that have held you bound, releasing those things that you have held on for too long.” 

 

About Our Guest 

Latoya Mathews is an inner healing coach, author, and transformation speaker who specializes in supporting women who had to go through abortions. With a mission to enlighten and educate the community, Latoya is determined to empower women who had similar struggles by building a safe space to assist their mental healing and emotional recovery. Latoya wishes healing, hope, and forgiveness to women all over the world by creating an impact of wholeness and freedom.

 

Episode Quotes

  • “There's always a wound, there's not a wound that can't be healed” –Latoya [12:46]
  • “I don't know if you've ever sat in a room that feels so big, but all of a sudden, it felt so small?”- Latoya [21:04]
  • “And I prayed every night for God to forgive me. Immediately, my pastor told me, God forgave you. God forgave you the very first time that you said that I prayed.”- Latoya [23:30]
  •  “And so I just really had to learn to accept that. I'm imperfect that I'm a person that makes mistakes because I would work just thinking that everything had to be perfect to put on this facade that nothing was wrong.”- Latoya [39:40]
  • “Something has to be broken in order for something to be released, and I had been broken before, so that I can release whatever is inside of me.”- Latoya [42:30]
  • “You know, so I realized that I'm stronger than what I actually thought I was.”-Latoya  [46:50].

Redefining Grief Pearls of Wisdom, P.O.W., Questions

  • One word to describe your grief journey.[45:50]

Hard, It was hard.

  • What have you learned about yourself during your cross-role?[46:09]

I'm actually stronger than I thought I was.

  • What truth are you holding on to today?[47:01]

I am holding on to Luke 1312. That is my truth. “Woman, you are free”.

 

Episode Time-Stamps

  • [12:17] - Latoya reveals her truth.
  • [14:33] - Latoya shares her own personal experience with abortion
  • [26:24] - Latoya talks about her trust issues
  • [30:26] - The importance of having the right community.
  • [36;34] - Strengthening back relationship with god.
  • [41:57] - Latoya talks about restoration.

 

Reference Links

Connect with Latoya

This episode is brought to you by our supportive, informative, and complimentary Grief Crusader Community. Join here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/GriefCrusader

 

Recommended Resources

Social Media

Podcast Hashtag: #RedefiningGrief    #TheChiefGriefCrusader    #HerdyneMercier   #MercierWellness    #Grief  

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/herdynemercier/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/HERDYNEMERCIER

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/herdynemercierlcsw

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/herdyne

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/herdyne-mercier-lcsw-chief-grief-crusader-6050aa72/

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Tatiana Fortune: Overcoming My Nightmare

Tuesday Apr 21, 2020

Tuesday Apr 21, 2020

Tatiana Fortune

 

Episode Introduction

Tatiana Fortune joins Herdyne in this episode of Redefining Grief. Tatiana is the owner of Multi-Ethnic Collections and Moments of Fortune Events, a Southwest Florida event planning firm. She is passionate about making a positive difference to affect social change and improving the quality of lives for people in need.

In this episode, Tatiana shares the times going through a crossroad in her life. What she feared the most came upon her 11 years ago, in 2009. Tatiana lost her brother, who was only 25 then. 

She grew up in Fort Myers – MSW in Washington University of St. Louis and had big dreams. She expresses how her heart sank when on February 7th the following year, she got a call from her mom’s pastor, who told her that her brother died. She tried to get to happiness without going through the sadness then. She had to deal with the media because her brother and his friend were victims of homicide. 

Two months after her brother’s death, she got a call that led her into worry in April. The caller said her mom was in danger at home. The abusive relationship with her dad led her mother into this. He invoked fear through his words and actions. She recalls her dad telling her something in creole since her brother’s death. He said he would tie her waist girdle up because things would be terrible and that she would no longer have a family. 

She received another phone call the next day that said her mom was in hospital but alive. Her dad had harmed her to the point of death, and she committed suicide. Tatiana was relieved her mom was safe but being a daddy’s girl; she felt guilty for letting him go through such a tragedy. 

Herdyne talks about how Grief is natural, there are conflicting emotions, but we are not taught to deal with them. There is power in questioning, and life review helps to heal. The five grief anchors would always guide you through the darkness.  

The duo discusses Tatiana’s famous article as Tatiana shares what she meant by ” nightmares perfected my worship” in her article. She says God helped her through the lens of goodness and gave her enlightenment.

Many of us believe that we shouldn’t love our parents if we have a toxic relationship with them. Tatiana’s love proves otherwise. Tune in to learn how!

 

About Our Guest 

Tatiana Fortune is a MSW graduate and speaks Haitian Creole. She is the Senior Center Director of the Golden Gate Senior Center. Under her leadership the Center was established as the 2nd Senior Center in Collier County. In her role, she oversees the Centers operations and activities, program development, community partnerships, outreach and personnel supervision. Her social work background and experience includes serving youth involved in the juvenile justice system, homeless families and has worked with government agencies and non-profit organizations on community outreach and development initiatives. She is also the owner of a retail business, Multi – Ethnic Collections and Moments of Fortune Events, a Southwest Florida event planning firm. Tatiana is passionate about making a positive difference to affect social change and improving the quality of lives for people in need.

 

Episode Quotes

  • “It is vital that you live for today.” – Herdyne [02:16]
  •  “True happiness comes to a place when you can embrace your sadness “- Herdyne [19:05]
  • “There's power in asking questions. “- Herdyne [36:23]
  • “But there's trying time, right where we are perfected, and we grow and we become stronger, and we become better, more brilliant, more amazing than we ever thought we could have been before that circumstance.” – Tatiana Fortune [42:40]
  • “Life is not perfect, but it must be lived.” -  Herdyne  [43:19]
  • “Do not police anyone's grief.” - Herdyne [45:17]

 

Redefining Grief Pearls of Wisdom, P.O.W., Questions

  • One word to describe your grief Journey? [47:16]

Enlightening. 

  • What have you learned about yourself during this time? [48:59]

I learned that I'm stronger than I think. That I have a greater sense of appreciation for who I am and I just love people because of that. And because of the people who showed up. And I value relationships a lot more. I'm more intentional. This has made me very, very more intentional in how I live and how I celebrate and appreciate those around me.

  • In five words or less what encouraging words can you say to an individual who's listening to your testimony? [49:52]

 This too shall pass.

 

Episode Time-Stamps

  • [01:20] – Herdyne’s wedding anniversary
  • [03:04] –Brief introduction about Tatiana
  • [09:02] –Tatiana’s life before the crossroad
  • [14:18] –Brother’s  death
  • [17:42] –Grief is a conflicting feeling
  • [23:12] –Mom’s  life in danger 
  • [26:43] –Dad’s suicide
  • [28:59] –Tatiana questioning God at the crossroad
  • [37:25] –Counselling and peace
  • [40:36] –Nightmares perfected my worship

 

Reference Links

  •  Article: 

Overcoming My Nightmare

https://www.protectyourglow.com/guest-post-overcoming-my-nightmare/ 

  • Book:

Glory Bible verse of job 3.25

https://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/Job-Chapter-3/


Connect with Tatiana 

This episode is brought to you by our supportive, informative, and complimentary Grief Crusader Community. Join here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/GriefCrusader

Recommended Resources

Social Media

Podcast Hashtag: #RedefiningGrief    #TheChiefGriefCrusader    #HerdyneMercier   #MercierWellness    #Grief  

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/herdynemercier/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/HERDYNEMERCIER

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/herdynemercierlcsw

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/herdyne

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/herdyne-mercier-lcsw-chief-grief-crusader-6050aa72/

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What Supports Look Like: 3 Tips

Tuesday Apr 14, 2020

Tuesday Apr 14, 2020

What Supports Look Like

 

Episode Introduction: 

Supporting someone who is going through grief is a process that needs to be done the right way. Oftentimes, your advice, prayers, or words of affirmation could not work for them the way they require. How do you make your presence known to someone who needs you in the journey? How do you not police grief but still be there for them? I want you to know that your life still has a purpose. Listen to this episode of Redefining Grief as I help you find your answers on being a support system to a person in grief!

 

Here are a few golden nuggets that you could start with-

  1. Just listen to the broken heart; do not try to advise.
  2. Don’t ask, just do.
  3. Allow them to cry, express themselves. Do not police grief.

 

Episode Quotes

  • “The feelings that you feel surrounding grief is all normal.” - Herdyne [01:34]
  • “If we learn how to embrace grief, I find that you will then seek positive coping skills.” - Herdyne [02:17]
  • “I often believe don't allow anyone to police your grief.” - Herdyne [08:33]
  • “Allow your grief to be your experience and show your emotions the way you know how. ”- Herdyne [08:36]

 

This episode is brought to you by our supportive, informative, and complimentary Grief Crusader Community. Join here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/GriefCrusader

 

Recommended Resources

 

Social Media

Podcast Hashtag: #RedefiningGrief    #TheChiefGriefCrusader    #HerdyneMercier   #MercierWellness    #Grief  

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/herdynemercier/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/HERDYNEMERCIER

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/herdynemercierlcsw

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/herdyne

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/herdyne-mercier-lcsw-chief-grief-crusader-6050aa72/

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Izmane Jean-Louis: First Heartbreak: Honoring Eugladie "Sha-Sha" Justine

Tuesday Apr 07, 2020

Tuesday Apr 07, 2020

Izmane Jean-Louis

 

Episode Introduction

Losing a best friend brought Herdyne and Izmane crashing down in life. The emotional shock and sorrow took time to come into acceptance with what was real. In this episode of Redefining grief, Herdyne speaks with her friend and Licensed Mental Health Counselor, Izmane Jean-Louis, about dealing with the death of one of their dearest friends, Shasha.

 

The last conversation they had with her is still fresh in their memory. Izmane speaks about being in disbelief about the tragic news. She was yet in denial and refused to believe until she saw Shasha in person. “No, I have to see her in person to really be a believer because I still had some kind of hope that my friend isn’t gone.”

Herdyne discusses the five anchors of grief to share how her own experiences of heartbreaks helped her come up with them. She shares thinking about Sasha on her wedding day and how she would be her maid of honor if she hadn’t passed away. “And I know if she was still alive, she will be a part of my matron of honor.”

Izmane talks about their grieving process and how they could not receive enough support to channel their despair. We learn the relevance of properly expressing our sentiments. It took time before Herdyne and Izmane could come to terms with the heartbreak. They realized that there was grace in saying goodbye.

Let’s have open discussions about one’s emotions and reflect on the little memories. Join us on this episode today!

 

About Our Guest 

Izmane Jean-Louis is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor. She received a Bachelor's in psychology from the University of Florida, then went on and pursued a Master of Arts in Counseling. Izmane is currently a full-time doctoral student in Clinical Psychology at Adler University.

 

Episode Quotes

  •  “And then I remember me saying “we'll see you at church on Friday night.” And this is what I will never forget her response. She said “if god is willing”. - Herdyne[13:43]
  • “Your grief journey is personal. It's like your own DNA.” –Herdyne [20:28]
  • ” What people need to understand is that even when you're grieving, there are bits and moments that will cause you to laugh, and there's nothing wrong with that” –Izmane[30:57].
  • “If my friend is really dead, I want to be the one to know. I want to be the one to see and to verify” –Izmane[38:12]
  • “ We can create new memories mean you thinking about her, honoring her and honoring her life by living our life.” – Herdyne[43:08]

 

Episode Time-Stamps

  • [07:33] - Izmane narrates how she found out about Shasha’s death.
  • [23:58] -  Herdyne talks about anchors of grief.
  • [26:41] -  Izmane talks about their grieving process after Shasha’s death.
  • [39:38] - Herdyne and Izmane talk about how they honored her friend.
  • [43:58] - There is beauty in saying goodbye.
  • [47:02] - Importance of going back and reflecting the good memories

 

Connect with Izmane

This episode is brought to you by our supportive, informative, and complimentary Grief Crusader Community. Join here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/GriefCrusader

 

Recommended Resources

Social Media

Podcast Hashtag: #RedefiningGrief    #TheChiefGriefCrusader    #HerdyneMercier   #MercierWellness    #Grief  

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/herdynemercier/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/HERDYNEMERCIER

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/herdynemercierlcsw

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/herdyne

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/herdyne-mercier-lcsw-chief-grief-crusader-6050aa72/

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Messy On The Outside

Tuesday Mar 31, 2020

Tuesday Mar 31, 2020

Messy On the Outside

 

Episode Introduction: 

My philosophy is that happiness and sadness can coexist. When you create non-judgmental spaces for broken hearts to be seen, heard, and validated, you feel lighter and better. What I want you to feel today is this- that all the messiness that surrounds your life is normal; take your time with it.

I give credit to this episode to my daughter. Why? She drew me a picture a while ago. I want you to picture the drawing with me so that the learning is etched in your mind. She drew a red heart with a blue star in the center of the heart. She added light blue coloring, messy zigzag lines all around the heart. Then, in a black marker, she wrote- Messy on the outside, cute on the inside. How sweet and wise could that sound?

Wisdom is a magical word. It grows with experiences and adds to our judgment. We are all grievers looking at other’s pain from a different lens. 

Listen in to the episode today as I guide you through my experience, welcome wisdom into your life, and embrace the beautiful mess you are in.

 

Episode Quotes

  • “Grief is a normal and natural reaction to any loss or change in normalcy. It is my philosophy that happiness and sadness can coexist.” - Herdyne [01:23]
  • “It is only when we learn the power of embracing both emotions that living a life full of emotional abundance, and balance can be attainable.” - Herdyne [01:34]
  • “When I say wisdom is my favorite word, it is my favorite word because there's so much to gain when you take time to understand or add knowledge or, or insight about a particular situation.” - Herdyne [10:21]
  • “Grief is being experienced in regards to the loss of your safety, or normalcy.”- Herdyne [12:36]
  • “Peace comes when you tell the truth about how you feel. Peace comes when you anchor down about your heartache. Peace comes when you anchor down with the connections with your community in your people, and truly see you that see you they hear you they understand you. Peace calms my wisdom circle.” -  Herdyne [16:54]

This episode is brought to you by our supportive, informative, and complimentary Grief Crusader Community. Join here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/GriefCrusader

 

Recommended Resources

Social Media

Podcast Hashtag: #RedefiningGrief    #TheChiefGriefCrusader    #HerdyneMercier   #MercierWellness    #Grief  

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/herdynemercier/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/HERDYNEMERCIER

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/herdynemercierlcsw

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/herdyne

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/herdyne-mercier-lcsw-chief-grief-crusader-6050aa72/

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Coronavirus and Grief

Tuesday Mar 24, 2020

Tuesday Mar 24, 2020

Coronavirus and Grief

 

Episode Introduction: 

Are you experiencing grief following the news and the events related to the Coronavirus? If yes, know that you are not alone. It was important for me to make you feel understood, and that is why I want to ask you to not isolate.

All of the sadness, frustration, anger, irritation that you are going through is only a result of the trauma you are experiencing. Know that this process is normal, and you are allowed to grieve through it.

But do you get stuck, not realizing how to see the light at the end of the tunnel?

If so, understand that the grief is of the loss of our unmet hopes and dreams. Today, I guide you through 5 anchors that could help you heal-

  1. The very first anchor is truth. Be honest to yourself about how you're feeling.
  2. Second, comes the heart anchor. Know that even if your heart is broken, you are not broken. 
  3. My third anchor is called the connection anchor. Just think about being in your community and find a connection with people.
  4. The next anchor is faith. When times go uneasy and intimidating, have faith in yourself and the Ultimate power above.
  5. The last anchor is the restoration anchor. It makes you look at the unresolved grief areas in your life. And during this time, please do not walk away from it. Spend some time healing.

 

Episode Quotes

  • “ I strongly believe that isolation is like the weed that I may see in my garden or my grass.” - Herdyne [00:55]
  • “Isolation cuts out the human connection and that's where it reminds me of the weed that I sometimes see in my garden.” - Herdyne [01:23]
  • “What I learned is the moment I educated myself about that particular situation or about the Coronavirus, my anxiety begins to go down.” - Herdyne [10:13]
  • “ Be honest about how you're feeling. ”- Herdyne [19:25]

This episode is brought to you by our supportive, informative, and complimentary Grief Crusader Community. Join here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/GriefCrusader

 

Recommended Resources

 

Social Media

Podcast Hashtag: #RedefiningGrief    #TheChiefGriefCrusader    #HerdyneMercier   #MercierWellness    #Grief  

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/herdynemercier/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/HERDYNEMERCIER

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/herdynemercierlcsw

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/herdyne

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/herdyne-mercier-lcsw-chief-grief-crusader-6050aa72/

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Restoration Anchor

Sunday Mar 22, 2020

Sunday Mar 22, 2020

 

This episode Herdyne Mercier, LCSW will introduce to you the fifth anchor she believes will be the foundation of Redefining Grief. This Restoration Anchor will definitely help you realize that redefining grief is a pivotal anchor in helping you understand that grief is a normal and natural reaction to any loss. The purpose for this podcast is to address the ways people grieve as well as how you can support grievers.

 

The Redefining Grief Podcast is designed to educate and empower grievers and those who are supporting grievers. As a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Certified Grief Specialist, Herdyne Mercier provides practical advice with a clear understanding of grief as well as necessary action steps for grief recovery. While life is not perfect, it still must be lived. Therefore, it is necessary to have the emotional tools to help us navigate the grief and losses we are sure to encounter. Episodes are released weekly on Tuesday mornings.

 

For questions about booking or sponsoring the podcast, email us at info@mercierwellness.com.

 

If you’d like to schedule a consultation, contact us at the link below.

https://calendly.com/mercier-wellness/consultation

 

Find us on social media:

#RedefiningGrief #MercierWellness

 

Instagram

 

@herdynemercier

 

Facebook

 

@HerdyneMercier  

 

Twitter

 

@HerdyneMercier

 

Linkedin

 

@HerdyneMercier

 

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Faith Anchor

Tuesday Mar 17, 2020

Tuesday Mar 17, 2020

This is my truth. I question God. "Why me?", "Why now?", "Are you even listening?" I felt like he was not listening to my prayer requests. My faith took a hit and my emotions spiriual out of control. Fear, doubt, worry, and hopelessness took the place of faith. Those were some hard times. I am happy to to report. I tapped back in to my faith anchor and life is much better, not easy but better.  I pray this episode bring you the clarity you need regarding your faith and grief through my personal life experiences and lesson. 

 

The Redefining Grief Podcast is designed to educate and empower grievers and those who are supporting grievers. As a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Certified Grief Specialist, Herdyne Mercier provides practical advice with a clear understanding of grief as well as necessary action steps for grief recovery. While life is not perfect, it still must be lived. Therefore, it is necessary to have the emotional tools to help us navigate the grief and losses we are sure to encounter. Episodes are released weekly on Tuesday mornings.

 

For questions about booking or sponsoring the podcast, email us at info@mercierwellness.com.

 

If you’d like to schedule a consultation, contact us at the link below.

https://calendly.com/mercier-wellness/consultation

 

Find us on social media:

#RedefiningGrief #MercierWellness

 

Instagram

 

@herdynemercier

 

Facebook

 

@HerdyneMercier  

 

Twitter

 

@HerdyneMercier

 

Linkedin

 

@HerdyneMercier

 

 

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Connection Anchor

Tuesday Mar 10, 2020

Tuesday Mar 10, 2020

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Heart Anchor

Tuesday Mar 03, 2020

Tuesday Mar 03, 2020

Have you had your heart broken? Do you feel loss and confused about your feelings? Have you been praying for a sign and what happens next. Look no further. 

This episode Herdyne Mercier, LCSW will introduce to you the second anchor she believes will be the foundation of Redefining Grief. This Heart Anchor will definitely help you realize that redefining grief is a pivotal anchor in helping you understand that grief is a normal and natural reaction to any loss. The purpose for this  podcast is to address the ways people grieve as well as how you can support grievers.

 

The Redefining Grief Podcast is designed to educate and empower grievers and those who are supporting grievers. As a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Certified Grief Specialist, Herdyne Mercier provides practical advice with a clear understanding of grief as well as necessary action steps for grief recovery. While life is not perfect, it still must be lived. Therefore, it is necessary to have the emotional tools to help us navigate the grief and losses we are sure to encounter. Episodes are released weekly on Tuesday mornings.

 For questions about booking or sponsoring the podcast, email us at info@mercierwellness.com.

 If you’d like to schedule a consultation, contact us at the link below.

  https://calendly.com/mercier-wellness/consultation

 Find us on social media:

#RedefiningGrief #MercierWellness

 Instagram

@herdynemercier

 

Facebook

@HerdyeMercier  

 

Twitter 

@HerdyneMercier 

Linkedin  

@HerdyneMercier

 

 

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