Redefining Grief with Herdyne Mercier, LCSW
 

Redefining Grief with Herdyne Mercier, LCSW

https://feed.podbean.com/redefininggrief/feed.xml

9.4K

Downloads

58

Episodes

The mission of this podcast is to explore all areas of grief by educating through stories and experiences. This podcast is for grievers and those wanting to learn how to support grievers.

Episodes

Kara Vaval: Why I Had to Leave A Good Man?

May 14, 2020

May 14, 2020

57 min

Kara Vaval

Episode Introduction

Allow your heart to break. Go through it. Because getting on the other side is so beautiful. And in the process, know that you are absolutely worth fighting for!

Join me on this episode of Redefining Grief as I interview Kara Vaval, President and founder of Vaval Law, formerly the Vaval Injury Law Group. Kara practices mainly in the areas of Personal Injury Land Family Law. Kara is a dedicated attorney and counselor of law. Understanding that the attorney-client relationship is based on trust, respect, and confidentiality, Kara is committed to providing her clients with quality legal representation and counseling combined with unparalleled client service. In addition to practicing law, she is a published author, motivational speaker, and empowerment coach with a passion to inspire and empower everyone she comes in contact with. 

Kara shares her life story with us today. It was on November 9 1996, that her father was brutally murdered. The shock that came to the family cannot be described in words completely. Her mother was 40, traumatised and immovable. Her dad, she recalls, was an incredible human being. That is one of the reasons why she is roaring today- because she has always been chasing this ideal of being even half the human he was. His death left her mother completely disoriented. Her kids were only 17, 14, and 5 years old and they needed her. 

She had considered herself a victim for most of her life. She couldn’t get close with people, She had to value herself. After her divoce with her ex-husband, Kara shares how she feels lighter. She says she left a good man. And she did it because she had to value herself over anybody else. This is a major learning- when you decide to put yourself over anything and anyone else, life happens. She believes sticking onto the marriage “for” the children does not do them any good. It’s because when you are not happy, you cannot expect your children to be happy with you either.

Kara constantly reminds us that you can always make choices and change your mind for the better. Tune in today and learn Kara’s journey through grief!

 

About Our Guest 

Kara Vaval is the President and founder of Vaval Law, formerly the Vaval Injury Law Group. Kara practices mainly in the areas of Personal Injury Land Family Law.

Kara is a dedicated attorney and counselor of law. Understanding that the attorney-client relationship is based on trust, respect, and confidentiality, Kara is committed to providing her clients with quality legal representation and counseling combined with unparalleled client service. In addition to practicing law, Kara is a published author, motivational speaker, and empowerment coach with a passion to inspire and empower everyone she comes in contact with. 

 

Episode Quotes

  • “Before you can get a harvest, you have to plant the seed. And sometimes when planting the seed, you have weeds.” - Kara [11:46]
  • “It's very important that you are your own cup of tea. Okay, because when you're your cup of tea, you own you.” - Kara [26:43]
  • “It's not working because who I would need to be to be in this is not who I am. And I've played that part long enough and I'm dying the real me is dying.“- Kara [32:58]
  • “I'm creating my life. And I am the author of my life. And I can have anything I want. I don't have to be the victim. I don't have to settle.” - Kara [34:35]
  • “People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. And the pain comes when you're trying to make a seasonal person, a lifetime person” - Kara [37:02]
  • “I understand what you're saying, because marriage is a partnership of growth, not stagnant.”- Herdyne [37:51]

 

Redefining Grief Pearls of Wisdom, P.O.W., Questions

  • If today was your last day on earth, and you were granted five words or less? What would it be? [49:12]

Liberating, Freeing, Loving, Honoring Yes, and Compassion for myself and for other people. 

  • During your hard times, what's that one song that just gets you through? [50:17]

I didn’t know my own strength by Whitney Houston

 

Episode Time-Stamps

  • [10:23] – What is your truth?
  • [28:49] – What tears represented for her
  • [33:37] – What caused the resurrection of Kara?
  • [40:08] – Talking about Kara’s book
  • [45:57] – That one step that the listeners can take to have their resurrection.

 

Reference Links

  • YouTube link to Kara’s favorite song: 

I didn’t know my own strength by Whitney Houston

  • Book:

The Conscious Parent by Shefali Tsabary

 

Connect with Kara

This episode is brought to you by our supportive, informative, and complimentary Grief Crusader Community. Join here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/GriefCrusader

 

Recommended Resources

Social Media

Podcast Hashtag: #RedefiningGrief    #TheChiefGriefCrusader    #HerdyneMercier   #MercierWellness    #Grief  

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/herdynemercier/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/HERDYNEMERCIER

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/herdynemercierlcsw

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/herdyne

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/herdyne-mercier-lcsw-chief-grief-crusader-6050aa72/

View more

May 14, 2020

57 min

Tanya King: I Was Here

May 12, 2020

May 12, 2020

58 min

Tanya King

Episode Introduction

Liberation is that ultimate state where you are off of your agony and pain. Today, we talk about the obstacles and hardships one has to conquer to get to this place after grief. In this episode of Redefining grief, Herdyne interviews Tanya King, life coach and founder of Derailed in Life.

Tanya King is a role model to all those who are uncertain about stepping out of their comfort zones. She quit her job as a nurse to pursue something she was passionate about- changing lives. Tanya had to deal with several obstacles before she could discover her purpose in life.

We learn today her experiences in life and what led her into pursuing the path she is now traversing. Tanya had fallen out of a twenty-two-year-old relationship. Getting over it, Tanya learned significant life lessons. She narrates the painful time going through her divorce- it was grieving the story's loss, she says. Speaking on the importance of not giving up your focus at moments of despair, she says, "I don't have to manipulate anything; I don't have to move anything. All I have to do is to have complete focus, and surrender and have faith that he's got it."

The interpretation of grief depends on the perspective we chose to view it from. You can choose to experience it or not. It's based on our philosophy and the meaning we get from what's happening.

Tanya reveals the emotional baggage she had to let go of to arrive at that place of restoration. "I had to let go of the lies and the perspective that I wasn't serving anyone." Today, she also talks about the book "The Little Souls and the Sun" by Donald Walsch and how it influenced her to come to a state of acceptance. 

When asked what emotion would be the character name for her story, Tanya answers Love. Isn't that what binds us all to our respective life stories? Tune in to the episode to hear her words of magic!


About Our Guest 

Tanya King is a revolutionary woman whose purpose in life is to Inspire. For over 15 years, Tanya has been encouraging women to unleash their inner goddesses. She helps people come out of their comfort zone and arrive at their greatest potential. With the benefit of her unconventional solutions to problems and years of experience as a life coach, she has empowered, influenced and transformed those around her.

 

Episode Quotes

  • “So my truth about grief is that we can choose to experience it or not.”. - Tanya[15:50]
  • “So I needed somebody who would hear me not brushed under the rug, make me see myself without any judgment.” - Tanya[22:08]
  • “You liberate yourself by telling the truth. “- Herdyne [29:15]
  • “I had to grieve the loss of a 22 year relationship. You know, you you grieve the loss of the story.”- Tanya [41:07]
  • “It’s the most powerful, liberating thing that will happen to you, when you realize that nothing is happening to you.”- Tanya [42:58]

 

Redefining Grief Pearls of Wisdom, P.O.W., Questions

  • What have you found to be your truth? [48:58]

Whatever the situation is, just allow it to unfold. Stop trying to control and micromanage it because it’s for nothing anyway. So that I think that's the truth I’ve really embraced.

  • In five words or less, what do you want to tell people? [50:11]

You are the author.

  • What song got you through? [51:24]

Beyonce- “I was here”

 

Episode Time-Stamps

  • [14:38] – Tanya shares her truth about grief.
  • [17:04] – Tanya shares her experience going through divorce.
  • [25:04] – Tanya shares how her faith and community helped her get over her grief.
  • [32:42] – Herdyne narrates her own personal experience with liberation.
  • [37:46] – Tanya reveals what she had to let go of to achieve restoration.
  • [44:42] – What emotion would your character name be?

Reference Links

  • YouTube link to Tanya’s favorite song: 

Beyonce –“I was here”

https://youtu.be/hDb3jZfWpoA

  • Book:

The Little Soul and the Sun by Donald Walsch. 

 

Connect with Tanya

This episode is brought to you by our supportive, informative, and complimentary Grief Crusader Community. Join here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/GriefCrusader

 

Recommended Resources

Social Media

Podcast Hashtag: #RedefiningGrief    #TheChiefGriefCrusader    #HerdyneMercier   #MercierWellness    #Grief  

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/herdynemercier/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/HERDYNEMERCIER

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/herdynemercierlcsw

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/herdyne

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/herdyne-mercier-lcsw-chief-grief-crusader-6050aa72/

View more

May 12, 2020

58 min

Samantha Jean Washington: Pain Is Not Permanent

May 7, 2020

May 7, 2020

1 hr 10 min

Samantha Jean Washington

Episode Introduction: 

“My mother used to put me on the cheese grater – the sharpest part of it, the one with the little teeth sticking out. This sounds like I made it up, but no. I would be on my knees, arms like this crossed across my chest.” 

A mother is the very being who breathes life into you. She is hailed, revered and worshipped for being an epitome of love, sacrifice and tenderness. But what if she happens to cause you more trauma and abuse than any known individual?

Samantha Jean joins Herdyne in this episode of Redefining Grief and expands on her traumatizing past. Talking of her mother, she says "There was no hugging. There was no ‘I love you.’ We were just there." She makes understand that the opposite of love is not always hatred. The opposite of love could be indifference. 

She grew up around a lot of violence – emotional, physical and verbal. The relationship she had with her mother was that of abuse. Her mother used to put her on the painful part of a cheese grater, down on one knee. Her hips and knees used to hurt – it was ugly. On top of all this, there was an emotional distance between them. 

Samantha struggled to find a means for escape – she tried sports, and even joined the army. But fitness was just a mask that she used to conceal the festering trauma underneath- one that kept haunting her, following her. 

Today, she is a trauma-informed personal and group trainer and founder of the company Mended fitness. Her intention is to provide a safe place for trauma survivors to train their mind and body to break free from the shackles of their past.

Today's episode is her narrative of rising from the ashes. If you are someone who feels that trauma never completely faded from your life, this episode might just transform your life. 

 

About Our Guest 

Samantha has been in the fitness industry for 8 years. She is a veteran military spouse, and a mother of two. She grew up playing sports. She used it as an outlet to avoid the hardships at home. When she joined the military, she became anxious and depressed. The trauma flash backs and mental health issues that she experienced in the past got worse. She separated from the military and eventually found an opportunity to teach group fitness. Fitness was where she found solace. She became certified and became a fitness instructor. As she began to teach at different gyms, she noticed that there was something missing in the community. There was a lack of care, community, confidence and safety. She decided to start her own business for trauma survivors because she saw the power of fitness and what it did to save her life. she experienced. It was pivotal in her healing and self-care goals.

Episode Quotes

  • “Healing is about preparation. If you are not prepared, you will not heal” - Samantha [11:03]
  • “I don't want you to be tough. I want you to be real. I want you to show up in your true space” - Herdyne [12:44]
  • “Grief can become a just a distraction that robs us of this opportunity of living a full life “- Herdyne [29:26]
  • “All the things that happened, it kept on refining me.”- Samantha [42:36]
  • “I had to understand that I didn't need validation from other people to be who I was.” -  Samantha [51:06]

 

Redefining Grief Pearls of Wisdom, P.O.W., Questions

  • What have you learned about yourself since redefining your grief journey? [52:50]

That I’m resilient. Even while I had a traumatic childhood, I was still a person. I still had things that I could call my favorites, I still had things that I enjoyed. Yes, I had a traumatic childhood, but my identity is not limited to that.

  • If today was your last day on earth, and you were granted five words or less? What would it be? [54:53]

Pain is not permanent.   

 

Episode Time-Stamps

  • [12:44] – Samantha paints her life story with us in broad strokes
  • [15:10] – Samantha narrates a dream that awakened her fighting spirit
  • [18:26] – Herdyne in turn, shares her dream 
  • [34:29] – Samantha shares her precious POWs
  • [46:53] – Samantha gets real 
  • [50:49] – The final questions

Connect with Samantha

This episode is brought to you by our supportive, informative, and complimentary Grief Crusader Community. Join here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/GriefCrusader

 

Recommended Resources

 

Social Media

Podcast Hashtag: #RedefiningGrief    #TheChiefGriefCrusader    #HerdyneMercier   #MercierWellness    #Grief  

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/herdynemercier/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/HERDYNEMERCIER

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/herdynemercierlcsw

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/herdyne

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/herdyne-mercier-lcsw-chief-grief-crusader-6050aa72/

View more

May 7, 2020

1 hr 10 min

Jeri-Lyn Wash: Missing Our Mothers

May 5, 2020

May 5, 2020

1 hr 6 min

Jeri Lyn Wash

 

Episode Introduction

In this episode, Herdyne interviews Jeri Lyn Wash, a mom, leader, and wellness preacher. We discuss policing grief and review why as humans, we hurt, and that's different for everyone. 

Jeri Lyn Wash is a woman who wears many hats. She finds her purpose in being a mother, community leader, mentor, author, and business owner. Amidst her healing of her mother's tragic passing, she founded her organization called "Missing Our Mothers Inc." which is a haven for any and everyone who's experienced the loss of a mother and is searching for a community of understanding. She birthed "Just Jeri "(the Life/Grief Coach and Motivational speaker) with immense success. With this platform, she's providing tools of understanding, compassion, and trusted techniques that one can use to guide them through the grieving process. 

Jeri recalls herself as a happy-in-love person who was about to get married in early 2016. A miscarriage left her shattered, and she started developing problems with her fiancé leading to their breakup. After all the loss that year, Jeri received a call from her sister a day before thanksgiving saying her mom didn't make it through the emergency heart surgery. Following this, Jeri went into a deep depression, also leaving her job in jeopardy. 

When her 7-year-old daughter asked her to get out of bed and stop being sad all day, saying her grandma wouldn't want her to be that she realized she needed help. 4 months after her mother's death, she went for counseling and understood she had situational depression.

Two weeks before mother's day, she felt God was asking her to brunch on mother's day and miraculously came up with a name - "missing our mothers." Jeri talks about how on mother's day, 21 people came for her brunch and ultimately found her life's purpose.

Both Herdyne and Jeri have an intrigued curiosity about grief and death. They want to be funeral directors and have a gift to heal other people's grief.

There is peace after pain, and it's okay not to be okay. Tune in to this episode to hear the complete story!

 

About Our Guest 

Jeri Lyn Wash is a mother, community leader, mentor, author, and business owner. Amidst her healing the tragic passing of her mother, she founded her organization called “Missing Our Mothers Inc.” which is a safe haven for any and everyone who’s experienced the loss of a mother and is searching for a community of understanding. With the immense success of her organization, she birthed “Just Jeri “(the Life/Grief Coach and Motivational speaker). With this platform, she’s providing tools of understanding, compassion, and trusted techniques that one can use to guide them through the grieving process. Healing has become a way of life for her through her many business ventures because they all allow her to help the hearts of many by uplifting and coaching them on just how to cope with grief positively.   

 

Episode Quotes

  • “In order for us to be great, you have to have the wisdom and the capacity to take in the information and take these steps in life lessons to take you to the next level.” -  Herdyne  [ 07:08]
  • “When you are grieving you need the right people who will see and validate your feelings.” - Herdyne [21:56]
  • “It's okay to not always be okay. “ - Jeri Lyn [32:46 ]
  • “We birth things out of our pain.” - Herdyne [33:53]
  • “The little ones in our lives truly know how to activate us.” -  Jeri Lyn [45:51]

 

Redefining Grief Pearls of Wisdom, P.O.W., Questions

  • What have you found to be your truth? [40:38]

My truth is just in knowing that I'm going to have good days, and I'm going to have bad days. But my good days outweigh the bad days. My truth is helping people ministering to people, healing people, in any way because death is not just losing a loved one. There are so many different reasons that people grieve like loss of Finance, loss of a pet, loss of a friendship.  So just healing and knowing that God is using me and all the glory goes to God, because there's nothing about Jeri, nothing about me.

  • What have you learned about you? [41:54]

What I learned about me was, I was grieving for a very long time, and I didn't know I was unhappy and sad for a long time. And now that I've come to a place where I can recognize it and understand it, I learned that it's okay to not always be okay.

 

Episode Time-Stamps

  • [00:49] – Making grief sexy 
  • [08:52] – Herdyne introduces Jeri Lyn Wash 
  • [12:02] – Jeri shares her truth
  • [15:00] – Jeri’s deep dark depression
  • [20:39] – Two weeks before mother’s day
  • [25:14] – Intrigued curiosity about grief and death
  • [33:53] – We birth things out of our pain

 

Reference Links

  • Link to Herdyne’s Writing Coach’s website: 

Mrs. Candace L. Davis

www.candiceldavis.com

  • Book:

Bible:  Book of Ecclesiastes 7.2

 https://biblehub.com/ecclesiastes/7-2.html 

 

Connect with Jeri

This episode is brought to you by our supportive, informative, and complimentary Grief Crusader Community. Join here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/GriefCrusader

 

Recommended Resources

Social Media

Podcast Hashtag: #RedefiningGrief    #TheChiefGriefCrusader    #HerdyneMercier   #MercierWellness    #Grief  

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/herdynemercier/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/HERDYNEMERCIER

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/herdynemercierlcsw

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/herdyne

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/herdyne-mercier-lcsw-chief-grief-crusader-6050aa72/

View more

May 5, 2020

1 hr 6 min

Latoya Mathews: Beauty into Ashes

Apr 28, 2020

Apr 28, 2020

54 min

Latoya Mathews

Episode Introduction

Going through an abortion can be a traumatic experience. It distorts one’s emotional balance and scars one’s mental health. In this episode of Redefining Grief, transformation coach Latoya Mathews opens up about her own personal experience going through an abortion. She shares the challenges she had to face to completely reconcile from her past. From originally being broken, burdened with guilt and shame to ultimately being on a path to restoration, Latoya reveals her inspiring journey of self-healing and rebuilding. 

Herdyne gives an introduction to her episode and announces her new masterclass on how to unlock your purpose in life by healing from grief. 

Latoya Mathews is an inner healing coach, author, and transformation speaker who specializes in helping women who had abortions. In this episode, she joins Herdyne and reveals her life's truth, sharing that no matter what challenges we pass through, god carries the strength to reconstruct our ashes into beauty. Healing is available to those who are eager to receive it.

Latoya recalls the time she found out she was pregnant. Being a senior in high school, who had two college fellowships, she recognized she would be giving up too much if she hadn’t decided on getting an abortion. She wasn’t in an atmosphere to support a child. She recalls going to the abortion clinic which was crowded with protesters, making it extremely humiliating for her. “And I remember being in that waiting room, feeling so small, waiting for them to call me back for the procedure and being on to fill this paperwork and just being there with no one there".

Latoya talks about the shame and guilt that showed with her judgment. She recalls asking God for forgiveness. “I don’t know if you have ever sat in a room that feels so big, but all of a sudden it felt so small."

She was enlightened with her ultimate quest to rebuilding. She speaks about the pastor that escorted her to self-healing.  “And I prayed every night for God to forgive me. Immediately, my pastor told me, God forgave you. God forgave you the very first time that you said that I prayed.”

Latoya talks about the seriousness of establishing a safe space for women who had gone through a similar traumatic past. She describes the consequence of the presence of a proper community in supporting self-healing and improvement. She places emphasis on the importance of openly communicating the concept of abortion. 

Latoya reveals her path to strengthening back her relationship with God.  “I had to start all over. I had to pray and ask God to give me eyes to see what he saw."

Tune in today to learn more about restoration. For Latoya, "Restoration was releasing those very things that have held you bound, releasing those things that you have held on for too long.” 

 

About Our Guest 

Latoya Mathews is an inner healing coach, author, and transformation speaker who specializes in supporting women who had to go through abortions. With a mission to enlighten and educate the community, Latoya is determined to empower women who had similar struggles by building a safe space to assist their mental healing and emotional recovery. Latoya wishes healing, hope, and forgiveness to women all over the world by creating an impact of wholeness and freedom.

 

Episode Quotes

  • “There's always a wound, there's not a wound that can't be healed” –Latoya [12:46]
  • “I don't know if you've ever sat in a room that feels so big, but all of a sudden, it felt so small?”- Latoya [21:04]
  • “And I prayed every night for God to forgive me. Immediately, my pastor told me, God forgave you. God forgave you the very first time that you said that I prayed.”- Latoya [23:30]
  •  “And so I just really had to learn to accept that. I'm imperfect that I'm a person that makes mistakes because I would work just thinking that everything had to be perfect to put on this facade that nothing was wrong.”- Latoya [39:40]
  • “Something has to be broken in order for something to be released, and I had been broken before, so that I can release whatever is inside of me.”- Latoya [42:30]
  • “You know, so I realized that I'm stronger than what I actually thought I was.”-Latoya  [46:50].

Redefining Grief Pearls of Wisdom, P.O.W., Questions

  • One word to describe your grief journey.[45:50]

Hard, It was hard.

  • What have you learned about yourself during your cross-role?[46:09]

I'm actually stronger than I thought I was.

  • What truth are you holding on to today?[47:01]

I am holding on to Luke 1312. That is my truth. “Woman, you are free”.

 

Episode Time-Stamps

  • [12:17] - Latoya reveals her truth.
  • [14:33] - Latoya shares her own personal experience with abortion
  • [26:24] - Latoya talks about her trust issues
  • [30:26] - The importance of having the right community.
  • [36;34] - Strengthening back relationship with god.
  • [41:57] - Latoya talks about restoration.

 

Reference Links

Connect with Latoya

This episode is brought to you by our supportive, informative, and complimentary Grief Crusader Community. Join here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/GriefCrusader

 

Recommended Resources

Social Media

Podcast Hashtag: #RedefiningGrief    #TheChiefGriefCrusader    #HerdyneMercier   #MercierWellness    #Grief  

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/herdynemercier/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/HERDYNEMERCIER

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/herdynemercierlcsw

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/herdyne

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/herdyne-mercier-lcsw-chief-grief-crusader-6050aa72/

View more

Apr 28, 2020

54 min

Tatiana Fortune: Overcoming My Nightmare

Apr 21, 2020

Apr 21, 2020

54 min

Tatiana Fortune

 

Episode Introduction

Tatiana Fortune joins Herdyne in this episode of Redefining Grief. Tatiana is the owner of Multi-Ethnic Collections and Moments of Fortune Events, a Southwest Florida event planning firm. She is passionate about making a positive difference to affect social change and improving the quality of lives for people in need.

In this episode, Tatiana shares the times going through a crossroad in her life. What she feared the most came upon her 11 years ago, in 2009. Tatiana lost her brother, who was only 25 then. 

She grew up in Fort Myers – MSW in Washington University of St. Louis and had big dreams. She expresses how her heart sank when on February 7th the following year, she got a call from her mom’s pastor, who told her that her brother died. She tried to get to happiness without going through the sadness then. She had to deal with the media because her brother and his friend were victims of homicide. 

Two months after her brother’s death, she got a call that led her into worry in April. The caller said her mom was in danger at home. The abusive relationship with her dad led her mother into this. He invoked fear through his words and actions. She recalls her dad telling her something in creole since her brother’s death. He said he would tie her waist girdle up because things would be terrible and that she would no longer have a family. 

She received another phone call the next day that said her mom was in hospital but alive. Her dad had harmed her to the point of death, and she committed suicide. Tatiana was relieved her mom was safe but being a daddy’s girl; she felt guilty for letting him go through such a tragedy. 

Herdyne talks about how Grief is natural, there are conflicting emotions, but we are not taught to deal with them. There is power in questioning, and life review helps to heal. The five grief anchors would always guide you through the darkness.  

The duo discusses Tatiana’s famous article as Tatiana shares what she meant by ” nightmares perfected my worship” in her article. She says God helped her through the lens of goodness and gave her enlightenment.

Many of us believe that we shouldn’t love our parents if we have a toxic relationship with them. Tatiana’s love proves otherwise. Tune in to learn how!

 

About Our Guest 

Tatiana Fortune is a MSW graduate and speaks Haitian Creole. She is the Senior Center Director of the Golden Gate Senior Center. Under her leadership the Center was established as the 2nd Senior Center in Collier County. In her role, she oversees the Centers operations and activities, program development, community partnerships, outreach and personnel supervision. Her social work background and experience includes serving youth involved in the juvenile justice system, homeless families and has worked with government agencies and non-profit organizations on community outreach and development initiatives. She is also the owner of a retail business, Multi – Ethnic Collections and Moments of Fortune Events, a Southwest Florida event planning firm. Tatiana is passionate about making a positive difference to affect social change and improving the quality of lives for people in need.

 

Episode Quotes

  • “It is vital that you live for today.” – Herdyne [02:16]
  •  “True happiness comes to a place when you can embrace your sadness “- Herdyne [19:05]
  • “There's power in asking questions. “- Herdyne [36:23]
  • “But there's trying time, right where we are perfected, and we grow and we become stronger, and we become better, more brilliant, more amazing than we ever thought we could have been before that circumstance.” – Tatiana Fortune [42:40]
  • “Life is not perfect, but it must be lived.” -  Herdyne  [43:19]
  • “Do not police anyone's grief.” - Herdyne [45:17]

 

Redefining Grief Pearls of Wisdom, P.O.W., Questions

  • One word to describe your grief Journey? [47:16]

Enlightening. 

  • What have you learned about yourself during this time? [48:59]

I learned that I'm stronger than I think. That I have a greater sense of appreciation for who I am and I just love people because of that. And because of the people who showed up. And I value relationships a lot more. I'm more intentional. This has made me very, very more intentional in how I live and how I celebrate and appreciate those around me.

  • In five words or less what encouraging words can you say to an individual who's listening to your testimony? [49:52]

 This too shall pass.

 

Episode Time-Stamps

  • [01:20] – Herdyne’s wedding anniversary
  • [03:04] –Brief introduction about Tatiana
  • [09:02] –Tatiana’s life before the crossroad
  • [14:18] –Brother’s  death
  • [17:42] –Grief is a conflicting feeling
  • [23:12] –Mom’s  life in danger 
  • [26:43] –Dad’s suicide
  • [28:59] –Tatiana questioning God at the crossroad
  • [37:25] –Counselling and peace
  • [40:36] –Nightmares perfected my worship

 

Reference Links

  •  Article: 

Overcoming My Nightmare

https://www.protectyourglow.com/guest-post-overcoming-my-nightmare/ 

  • Book:

Glory Bible verse of job 3.25

https://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/Job-Chapter-3/


Connect with Tatiana 

This episode is brought to you by our supportive, informative, and complimentary Grief Crusader Community. Join here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/GriefCrusader

Recommended Resources

Social Media

Podcast Hashtag: #RedefiningGrief    #TheChiefGriefCrusader    #HerdyneMercier   #MercierWellness    #Grief  

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/herdynemercier/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/HERDYNEMERCIER

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/herdynemercierlcsw

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/herdyne

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/herdyne-mercier-lcsw-chief-grief-crusader-6050aa72/

View more

Apr 21, 2020

54 min

What Supports Look Like: 3 Tips

Apr 14, 2020

Apr 14, 2020

21 min

What Supports Look Like

 

Episode Introduction: 

Supporting someone who is going through grief is a process that needs to be done the right way. Oftentimes, your advice, prayers, or words of affirmation could not work for them the way they require. How do you make your presence known to someone who needs you in the journey? How do you not police grief but still be there for them? I want you to know that your life still has a purpose. Listen to this episode of Redefining Grief as I help you find your answers on being a support system to a person in grief!

 

Here are a few golden nuggets that you could start with-

  1. Just listen to the broken heart; do not try to advise.
  2. Don’t ask, just do.
  3. Allow them to cry, express themselves. Do not police grief.

 

Episode Quotes

  • “The feelings that you feel surrounding grief is all normal.” - Herdyne [01:34]
  • “If we learn how to embrace grief, I find that you will then seek positive coping skills.” - Herdyne [02:17]
  • “I often believe don't allow anyone to police your grief.” - Herdyne [08:33]
  • “Allow your grief to be your experience and show your emotions the way you know how. ”- Herdyne [08:36]

 

This episode is brought to you by our supportive, informative, and complimentary Grief Crusader Community. Join here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/GriefCrusader

 

Recommended Resources

 

Social Media

Podcast Hashtag: #RedefiningGrief    #TheChiefGriefCrusader    #HerdyneMercier   #MercierWellness    #Grief  

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/herdynemercier/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/HERDYNEMERCIER

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/herdynemercierlcsw

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/herdyne

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/herdyne-mercier-lcsw-chief-grief-crusader-6050aa72/

View more

Apr 14, 2020

21 min

Izmane Jean-Louis: First Heartbreak: Honoring Eugladie "Sha-Sha" Justine

Apr 7, 2020

Apr 7, 2020

50 min

Izmane Jean-Louis

 

Episode Introduction

Losing a best friend brought Herdyne and Izmane crashing down in life. The emotional shock and sorrow took time to come into acceptance with what was real. In this episode of Redefining grief, Herdyne speaks with her friend and Licensed Mental Health Counselor, Izmane Jean-Louis, about dealing with the death of one of their dearest friends, Shasha.

 

The last conversation they had with her is still fresh in their memory. Izmane speaks about being in disbelief about the tragic news. She was yet in denial and refused to believe until she saw Shasha in person. “No, I have to see her in person to really be a believer because I still had some kind of hope that my friend isn’t gone.”

Herdyne discusses the five anchors of grief to share how her own experiences of heartbreaks helped her come up with them. She shares thinking about Sasha on her wedding day and how she would be her maid of honor if she hadn’t passed away. “And I know if she was still alive, she will be a part of my matron of honor.”

Izmane talks about their grieving process and how they could not receive enough support to channel their despair. We learn the relevance of properly expressing our sentiments. It took time before Herdyne and Izmane could come to terms with the heartbreak. They realized that there was grace in saying goodbye.

Let’s have open discussions about one’s emotions and reflect on the little memories. Join us on this episode today!

 

About Our Guest 

Izmane Jean-Louis is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor. She received a Bachelor's in psychology from the University of Florida, then went on and pursued a Master of Arts in Counseling. Izmane is currently a full-time doctoral student in Clinical Psychology at Adler University.

 

Episode Quotes

  •  “And then I remember me saying “we'll see you at church on Friday night.” And this is what I will never forget her response. She said “if god is willing”. - Herdyne[13:43]
  • “Your grief journey is personal. It's like your own DNA.” –Herdyne [20:28]
  • ” What people need to understand is that even when you're grieving, there are bits and moments that will cause you to laugh, and there's nothing wrong with that” –Izmane[30:57].
  • “If my friend is really dead, I want to be the one to know. I want to be the one to see and to verify” –Izmane[38:12]
  • “ We can create new memories mean you thinking about her, honoring her and honoring her life by living our life.” – Herdyne[43:08]

 

Episode Time-Stamps

  • [07:33] - Izmane narrates how she found out about Shasha’s death.
  • [23:58] -  Herdyne talks about anchors of grief.
  • [26:41] -  Izmane talks about their grieving process after Shasha’s death.
  • [39:38] - Herdyne and Izmane talk about how they honored her friend.
  • [43:58] - There is beauty in saying goodbye.
  • [47:02] - Importance of going back and reflecting the good memories

 

Connect with Izmane

This episode is brought to you by our supportive, informative, and complimentary Grief Crusader Community. Join here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/GriefCrusader

 

Recommended Resources

Social Media

Podcast Hashtag: #RedefiningGrief    #TheChiefGriefCrusader    #HerdyneMercier   #MercierWellness    #Grief  

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/herdynemercier/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/HERDYNEMERCIER

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/herdynemercierlcsw

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/herdyne

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/herdyne-mercier-lcsw-chief-grief-crusader-6050aa72/

View more

Apr 7, 2020

50 min

Messy On The Outside

Mar 31, 2020

Mar 31, 2020

26 min

Messy On the Outside

 

Episode Introduction: 

My philosophy is that happiness and sadness can coexist. When you create non-judgmental spaces for broken hearts to be seen, heard, and validated, you feel lighter and better. What I want you to feel today is this- that all the messiness that surrounds your life is normal; take your time with it.

I give credit to this episode to my daughter. Why? She drew me a picture a while ago. I want you to picture the drawing with me so that the learning is etched in your mind. She drew a red heart with a blue star in the center of the heart. She added light blue coloring, messy zigzag lines all around the heart. Then, in a black marker, she wrote- Messy on the outside, cute on the inside. How sweet and wise could that sound?

Wisdom is a magical word. It grows with experiences and adds to our judgment. We are all grievers looking at other’s pain from a different lens. 

Listen in to the episode today as I guide you through my experience, welcome wisdom into your life, and embrace the beautiful mess you are in.

 

Episode Quotes

  • “Grief is a normal and natural reaction to any loss or change in normalcy. It is my philosophy that happiness and sadness can coexist.” - Herdyne [01:23]
  • “It is only when we learn the power of embracing both emotions that living a life full of emotional abundance, and balance can be attainable.” - Herdyne [01:34]
  • “When I say wisdom is my favorite word, it is my favorite word because there's so much to gain when you take time to understand or add knowledge or, or insight about a particular situation.” - Herdyne [10:21]
  • “Grief is being experienced in regards to the loss of your safety, or normalcy.”- Herdyne [12:36]
  • “Peace comes when you tell the truth about how you feel. Peace comes when you anchor down about your heartache. Peace comes when you anchor down with the connections with your community in your people, and truly see you that see you they hear you they understand you. Peace calms my wisdom circle.” -  Herdyne [16:54]

This episode is brought to you by our supportive, informative, and complimentary Grief Crusader Community. Join here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/GriefCrusader

 

Recommended Resources

Social Media

Podcast Hashtag: #RedefiningGrief    #TheChiefGriefCrusader    #HerdyneMercier   #MercierWellness    #Grief  

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/herdynemercier/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/HERDYNEMERCIER

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/herdynemercierlcsw

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/herdyne

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/herdyne-mercier-lcsw-chief-grief-crusader-6050aa72/

View more

Mar 31, 2020

26 min

Coronavirus and Grief

Mar 24, 2020

Mar 24, 2020

26 min

Coronavirus and Grief

 

Episode Introduction: 

Are you experiencing grief following the news and the events related to the Coronavirus? If yes, know that you are not alone. It was important for me to make you feel understood, and that is why I want to ask you to not isolate.

All of the sadness, frustration, anger, irritation that you are going through is only a result of the trauma you are experiencing. Know that this process is normal, and you are allowed to grieve through it.

But do you get stuck, not realizing how to see the light at the end of the tunnel?

If so, understand that the grief is of the loss of our unmet hopes and dreams. Today, I guide you through 5 anchors that could help you heal-

  1. The very first anchor is truth. Be honest to yourself about how you're feeling.
  2. Second, comes the heart anchor. Know that even if your heart is broken, you are not broken. 
  3. My third anchor is called the connection anchor. Just think about being in your community and find a connection with people.
  4. The next anchor is faith. When times go uneasy and intimidating, have faith in yourself and the Ultimate power above.
  5. The last anchor is the restoration anchor. It makes you look at the unresolved grief areas in your life. And during this time, please do not walk away from it. Spend some time healing.

 

Episode Quotes

  • “ I strongly believe that isolation is like the weed that I may see in my garden or my grass.” - Herdyne [00:55]
  • “Isolation cuts out the human connection and that's where it reminds me of the weed that I sometimes see in my garden.” - Herdyne [01:23]
  • “What I learned is the moment I educated myself about that particular situation or about the Coronavirus, my anxiety begins to go down.” - Herdyne [10:13]
  • “ Be honest about how you're feeling. ”- Herdyne [19:25]

This episode is brought to you by our supportive, informative, and complimentary Grief Crusader Community. Join here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/GriefCrusader

 

Recommended Resources

 

Social Media

Podcast Hashtag: #RedefiningGrief    #TheChiefGriefCrusader    #HerdyneMercier   #MercierWellness    #Grief  

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/herdynemercier/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/HERDYNEMERCIER

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/herdynemercierlcsw

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/herdyne

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/herdyne-mercier-lcsw-chief-grief-crusader-6050aa72/

View more

Mar 24, 2020

26 min

Load More

Copyright 2020 All rights reserved.

Podcast Powered By Podbean

Version: 20241125